fear

Mornings are the hardest for me. My cortisol running, my new thoughts yet to ground me. When i think back and examine my truth, emotions, feelings- i realize that i was scared of you too. i was not safe enough inside of my own body and nervous system alone, so when you rejected me, cheated, … Continue reading fear

frustration

I sit from a place with a calm nervous system. in a place of forgiveness and understanding. yet- simultaneously I feel frustration with myself. i can look back and see it all so clearly now. i was so activated. what i needed to heal. how matt would have felt so frustrated, too. The selfish take … Continue reading frustration

Done

what happens when the pain in your heart and body takes over? when your spirit and zest for life feels absolutely gone. its beyond the pain of losing love, but its the pain of not having enough love inside of yourself outside of connection and movement. its wanting to give up completely. you barely recognize … Continue reading Done

Safety

Our nervous systems dictate safety. Let us know when a situation, person or area feels safe to exhale into. With my chaotic background, finding safety and leaning into it is an ongoing struggle for me. When i find safety in someone, i anchor. take hold. trust in them. show my heart. open up and build … Continue reading Safety

depression

I remember in college my dad used to tell me that if i didnt treat my anxiety, it would undoubetly turn into depression... and here we are. it was easy to assign it to grief and losing matt, but i think it runs much deeper. it was abandoning myself to love someone else. it was … Continue reading depression