And She’s back babbyyyyy
Sitting at a cafe drinking a cappuccino smoking a Winston in Paris on a Wednesday afternoon.
Just did a little shopping. Ordered some chocolate mousse. It feels so good to feel human again.
The pats of me I that tucked away for so long. I finally believe in it all. It all paid off and turned me, just in due time.
I’m taking artsy pictures again. crafting a plate. Slowing down. Indulging. Meeting. Loving. Laughing. Letting expectations go. Feeling sexy and desiring sex more.
Even on my dark nights when I feel sick- I don’t let it carry me I to the next day. Everything is much more managed.
I’m more open sexually. I feel less fear surrounding my future and what will come. Connection, feeling. I no longer see adult relationships as conditional. I’m in such less fear. So much more confident and full inside. I think the sickness I had completely took me under. Love expands and continues to expand us. Intimacy is created again and again. It’s beautiful and walls are created from fear and hurt but once we love ourselves and trust ourselves it falls away. I’m outside the box deep down I think. Maybe I always have been. Still in shock that gastroparesis threw me so much.
I had dinner w Simon nico flavie last night. Simon and I both delved into psych drugs this year. Nico and flavie were rolling their eyes. So freaking good to see them. How much magic happens in a year.
I’m boarding and headed back to the U.S. exhausted open heart full and curious. So many conversations to have. So many horizons to continue to explore.